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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580637">tell me you love me, and tell me again, and again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/byjosten/pseuds/byjosten'>byjosten</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And being told he's loved, Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Andrew has a thing for Neil's honesty, Boyfriends, But don't get excited it's just a load of love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Grinding, Kissing, Light Smut, Love, Love Boners, Love Confessions, M/M, Neck Kissing, Neil has Feelings, Soft Andrew Minyard, Soft Neil Josten, Soft Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, lots of feelings, very light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:54:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/byjosten/pseuds/byjosten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil can be honest with Andrew--Neil can be honest *for* Andrew. Neil can know how he feels and tell Andrew those feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>392</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>tell me you love me, and tell me again, and again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/akingman/gifts">akingman</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so this was initially just super soft thoughts that turned into a drabble so!! i hope it's okay &lt;3 just boys being soft and loving, okay?</p><p>@ salem, if you don't like it tell me to buzz off with the gift tag</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The glow of the TV screen slanted over Andrew’s face, highlighting his cheekbones, deepening the furrow of his brows, as he looked neither at the screen or at Neil, his gaze fixed just beyond. The press of his lips was pronounced, the curve of a strand of blonde hair falling over his forehead so alluringly there Neil wanted to reach out and brush it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew’s fingers toyed idly with the silver necklace around his neck, and Neil wondered</span>
</p><p>
  <span>if it was a sign of him being restless or just absentminded movement. His eyes tracked over the ridges of his knuckles, the curl of his fingers over the chain, the unfocused yet intense look in Andrew’s gaze. If he noticed Neil hadn’t once been able to look away and focus on the show they watched, he didn’t comment. He let Neil look, or maybe didn’t care, or maybe didn’t think that Neil </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>be looking but he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil looked because he was quietly baffled and he still hadn’t figured everything out yet. He could be aware of his feelings whilst still marvelling at them every single time he looked at Andrew, could still tug at the length of how he felt and find more. Neil Josten had never found nor wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his life. His days, every single one of them, had been a collective of waiting for one thing to end so he could know what came next. A subtle impatience so natural to him he hadn’t noticed it until Andrew Minyard had slammed his life to a complete halt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Andrew, Neil wanted more. More of the soft feelings that came when Andrew smiled at him, more kisses, more touch, more words, more of hearing Andrew’s quiet breathing at night when they slept side by side. Nothing was ever quite enough, and Neil couldn’t work out how a boy could make him feel that--how </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>could make him feel like that when all he had wanted in life was for each new thing to be over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never wanted Andrew Minyard being in his life to be over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew’s eyes flicked to him, a very subtle startle in his shoulders at finding Neil’s gaze already on him. That curl of warmth that spread through Neil’s stomach began it’s descent again. It should have been familiar by now yet Neil still wondered at it, at how Andrew made him feel, how he could be allowed to feel something like that when, for so many years, he didn’t think he was capable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t been like other boys. He hadn’t kissed people at the first chance he got; he hadn’t been on dates or explored relationships in teenage years. He hadn’t done hookups for the sake of experiencing something physical. It hadn’t been a prudish nature that stopped him; it had just never been there for Neil, and if it wasn’t there he hadn’t thought to seek it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was there with Andrew. All of it, everything he had thought--and quietly hoped--was all there. Some days, Neil--ever-needing to move on and find more stimulation, something else to busy himself with--thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>where does this end? Would it end?</span>
  </em>
  <span> And every day he found there was no end in sight and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was no diminishing when it came to his feelings for Andrew, no waiting it out. There was only every minute, slowed down, so he could enjoy it. In each minute he got with Andrew, his whole body stilled, slowing down like the time, and there was never any rush or worry to move, do something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Neil said, because he wanted to say something but didn’t want to ruin his gazing with clumsy words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew frowned, until Neil gave him a hesitant smile, and then said, “Hi.” He jerked his head at the TV screen. “Boring?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he answered. “You’re just more interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re full of shit,” Andrew said, but there was a smile on his lips he clearly tried to push down. Neil wanted to tug it out, to make it light up Andrew’s face even more, to know he smiled and it was because Neil made him flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew only shook his head and turned his attention back to the screen but he reached out and clasped their hands together, resting them on Andrew’s thigh. Neil held his hand, thumb running over a knuckle. This was Andrew--this was Andrew, and how </span>
  <em>
    <span>indescribable </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was that Neil got to say he was Neil’s first, and only, love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That Neil was Andrew’s first love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something in him curled again at the thought. He got to say, and express, and show, that he was in love with Andrew Minyard. That his heart beat furiously against his chest, each one reminding him that he could love, and be loved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop watching me,” Andrew said but his voice wasn’t hard with the displeasure he spoke with when he didn’t like something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Neil tried, “I like watching you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small blush rose on Andrew’s cheeks as he swallowed. “You’re full of shit,” he said again. His socked foot kicked out at Neil, but Neil only caught his ankle between his hands, smiling. Andrew’s leg relaxed as Neil danced his fingers over the bare strip of skin between his sock and the bottom of his sweatpants. Then, ever so subtly, his eyes cut to Neil’s, side-eyeing. “Tell me again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That I like watching you?” Neil asked, a wider smile threatening to trip up his tongue. “Because I do. I like looking at you and knowing that--” He cut off, suddenly shy to say the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew reached out, gliding a finger up Neil’s shin, stopping to circle his knee. Just that mere touch sent electricity shooting through him. “Like knowing that what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil met his gaze steadily for a few seconds, waiting until one of Andrew’s brows lifted in silent anticipation, an </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m waiting</span>
  </em>
  <span> without words. Butterflies burrowed in his chest, making him feel childish, but they told him this was good, this was everything he had dreamed to want.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he lifted his chin and said, “I like looking at you, knowing that when I tell you I love you it’s the most honest thing I can say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew took one second, two seconds, stretching out the moments to let Neil’s words sink in. Then he was moving, unfolding, leaning towards Neil, hands already reaching to cup his face. Neil was already tilting forward, adjusting to let Andrew into his space so willingly, head falling back to the cushions, fingers threading through Andrew’s hair, mouth already opening beneath his. They moved together, an instrument they were both pieces of, working in tandem, knowing the other so completely that hands knew where to go to next to meet the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of Andrew’s hands slid to cup Neil’s neck before tugging one of Neil’s hands from his hair to thread their fingers again. Their entwined fingers were led to the cushion by Neil’s head, Andrew’s weight softly nudging Neil further into the couch. His body lay between Neil’s parted legs, heavy and solid, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so at odds with the soft brush of their lips. Contact. Touch. It tossed up a storm of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>in Neil, so intangible yet visible and knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love. Affection. Knowing he was needed and loved. Knowing Andrew wanted to touch and kiss him, wanted to keep on looking right back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew caught his bottom lip between his teeth, drawing it in, sucking lightly. He pulled back, letting Neil’s lip go slowly. His gaze bore down into Neil’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be honest some more,” he said quietly, eyes flickering. Neil’s words got lost as he looked into his eyes, throat working around silence for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now?” he asked, stupidly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Neil, now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Andrew in another moment might mutter, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no time like the present, Neil</span>
  </em>
  <span> sarcastically, but Andrew right now looked at Neil like he needed to hear that honesty. Like he needed it more than Neil needed to acknowledge the honesty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips closed over a spot on Neil’s neck, teeth scraping lightly, and Neil swallowed a gasp. When he next opened his mouth, it was to say, “Everything in me quietens when you look at me, and I’ve never felt anything like it before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a small noise muffled into his neck. He felt it more than heard it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I never want to stop feeling it,” Neil whispered. Andrew’s fingers tightened around his, pressing his hand harder into the cushions. He didn’t know what his words were doing to Andrew but when he next pulled back to look down at him, his eyes were almost wild with the need to hear more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Neil gave him more, and watched as Andrew ducked his head and looked more wrecked and taken apart than ever, just on Neil’s truths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil’s truths about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>About his feelings for Andrew. Something he would never ever lie about or betray, which Andrew knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time Neil said his truth, he breathed it onto Andrew’s neck. “Andrew, I think you’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew’s body jolted against Neil’s, a full reaction--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then a deep exhale into Neil’s neck, mouth messily making it’s way to Neil’s, fingers scrabbling to tilt his face up. His kiss was both hard and soft, a need and want, driving them both forward, onwards, into each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say it again?” Andrew said between kisses, barely pulling away long enough to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil’s fingers wrapped around Andrew’s blonde hair, tugging so lightly, a smaller touch to convey a bigger meaning. “I think you’re beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew’s cheek, tight, his jaw, clenched, against Neil’s face as he just breathed in and out, eyes fluttering closed but then flying back open to land on Neil. Neil forced his eyes to stay on Andrew’s, to not dart around self-consciously. He stayed staring down at Neil, slowly coming apart, as Neil tugged his hands free and dragged a thumb over Andrew’s lips, into the dip between his bottom lip and chin, up over his cheekbones, glancing across the bridge of his nose, to smooth over his brows, before gliding his thumbs just beneath his eyes. Andrew turned his face to kiss Neil’s palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what to say but that was okay because neither of them always needed words. Looks were enough, moments were enough. He looked back at Andrew and leaned in slightly. Andrew nodded, nodded again, and nipped at his palm to cover a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil leaned in first, pulling Andrew’s face away from his hand, to kiss him again. He closed his eyes, feeling Andrew shift against him, and made a soft noise into his mouth. He tapped a finger against Andrew’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew stopped for a second before nodding. He pulled back long enough to unzip the jacket he wore, and left it open, tugged down three-quarters of the way. Neil met his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Andrew said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil moved fast, hands pushing the jacket off Andrew’s shoulders, splaying his fingers over the back of his shoulders, feeling the muscle shift and tighten as Andrew held himself over Neil. Neil’s mouth met skin, met freckled pale shoulders, and kissed. He left light, littering kisses, that had Andrew making quiet noises, face turned down into Neil’s cheek. When Andrew said, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>” more fiercely, Neil sucked, knowing no mark would be left properly but he felt Andrew, and the muscle, and movement, and it was more than enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed his way to Andrew’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” he said, right into the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew cupped his jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with you,” Neil said, more confident than anything he had ever said in his life, as he had told Andrew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fingers tightened but not too hard. Andrew closed his eyes, kissing Neil like he would never do anything else, and Neil felt and kissed and felt Andrew shiver beneath the words and truths. He never said anything back, never needed to; Neil knew how he felt. Neil hooked a finger around Andrew’s necklace and lifted it, kissing where it had rested on the back of his neck. He sucked a mark there, then another, and another, feeling Andrew move against him more desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Andrew whispered, eyes darting down to where their hips met. His cheeks were flushed with colour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Neil confirmed and pulled him back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their hips met, over and over, Andrew rolling his against Neil’s. At first, it was relief, something to ease the ache of how Neil’s words had affected him, but then it became a need, a desire, wanting to have something so intense surrounded with the words. Andrew tapped Neil’s thigh, getting a quick nod, before he tugged his leg up to wrap around his hips. The new angle had them both groaning into each other's mouths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew rolled his hips downward frantically, letting loose some of his control, when he felt Neil push right back. His fingers dug into Neil’s thigh, keeping him there. Usually Neil was more sensitive, the easiest of them to come, so new to many of the touches Andrew gave him, but this time it was Andrew who looked down at Neil and whispered on to his jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil bit his neck again, sucking more purple bruises on to his pale skin, and tugged Andrew’s hair. His back arched off the couch, hips pressing further into Andrew’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Andrew was saying Neil’s name, a plea to keep talking, and so Neil did. He felt Andrew reach his orgasm to the sound of Neil saying he loved him, that Andrew was beautiful, and loving Andrew made Neil calm and still, like he could finally live and not just exist through each minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He said it all onto his skin until that moment when Andrew pulled back, Neil’s name a broken groan on his lips, and looked at him again. His hips stuttered forward, unzipped hoodie hanging forward, slouched off his arms. His eyes never squeezed shut; he kept them on Neil as he came, hips moving against Neil until he could only breathe deeply and bury his fingers in Neil’s hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he was kissing him fiercely again, letting Neil grind against him in the same way, to reach his orgasm right behind Andrew. He moaned Andrew’s name, let Andrew direct his movements, and he came with a soft moan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil’s fingers were quick to fix Andrew’s jacket when he shivered, tugging it back up his shoulders and doing the zip back up. Andrew watched him the whole time, an unknowing smile on his face. Not quite a smile but not quite nothing, either. When Neil was done, Andrew kissed him, light and quick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was already in the mood,” Andrew said before Neil could say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil grinned. “Sure. It definitely wasn’t spurred by anything I said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrew growled quietly and nipped at his jaw. “Shower with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neil nodded, eyes bright, and even if he couldn’t quite feel his legs when he stood up, Andrew guided him to the bathroom and flicked on the lights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t get tired of hearing you say those things,” Andrew said quietly, yanking off his hoodie, dropping his pants, walking right into the shower, leaving Neil blinking after him, smiling, satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He undressed quickly, and waited for Andrew to call his name.</span>
</p>
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